Something has got to change….So how do you do it?
Do you start your day feeling your heart racing?
Will the car start?
Can I do it all?
Have I ironed that shirt?
Is your mind spinning, keeping track of what you have to do and when?
Bills to pay,
Call from work.
Do small unexpected events or requests throw you into a snappy mood with those around you? W
We’ve run out of milk!
Have you done that?
Have you go time to….…?
Whose picking the kids up?
Have you finished that job?
I’m not sure.
And this is just the start of the day - feeling overwhelmed already? You deserve a medal for just getting out of the house some days. Or perhaps thats just it, you don’t get out of the house. It all just feels too much. When under pressure and feeling at our wits end, it can be hard to know where to start.
So what to do?
How can simply hearing ourselves think help us out of this?
Well, to start with it is time just for you, uninterrupted, calm and nonjudgemental. This last word is really important. A coach accepts you as you are, a unique and special individual, who has the ability to solve problems and make change. With that in mind, you can be open and honest, not for your coach, but for yourself.
When you are honest with yourself you can begin to unpick the issues that are creating the problems and start to address them. I am always amazed by what can be realised quite quickly. By asking you questions about what you are thinking, it can help you look at things differently. Our thought patterns and internal voice need to be examined as they are often the very thing holding us back. That is what questioning does. It is not a test, a challenge or intended to judge, it is just a question. Yet it can be enough to change your view and that in itself can lead to a finding a path towards change.
So first, coaching unlocks your thinking. It helps to reset your thinking patterns. What next?
Well, the next stage is to establish what it is you want to achieve. The goal, the outcome, the target, what ever words you use, to clarify what it is you want. Coaching is forward thinking and to assist that, the establishment of an aim focuses the thinking and gives the sessions purpose. It isn’t therapy, it isn’t counselling, it is you going on a journey to a destination. I know, what a cliché, but that's how it is!
The journey to the destination is always fascinating. Sometimes it is straight forward, no hold ups. Job done. This can often be the case when the goal requires practical action, a change of routine, finding resources to help or a series of steps to work through. At other times it can take turns off the route and become a bit of a mystery tour as your thinking deepens and other goals arise and take priority. I have had clients who have been totally fixed on the achievement of their goal. Who, in sessions, are confident that they are on the right track, only to realise that actually, there are more important things they need to do. The goal has brought them to coaching but the process has given them the space to make important realisations about their lives and how to live it better.
There are many reasons why people find coaching beneficial, but for me the most important one is that it gives you what you need to work things out for yourself. And when you have been through the coaching journey once, you will find that you take away the skills and the confidence to continue to make the changes you want. That is defiantly worth investing in!